An Open Letter To The Man I Once Loved

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I’m sorry if I didn’t tell you that I love you even if I already knew.
I’m sorry if i was a total jerk because I did not fight for you- for us.
I’m sorry if I was a coward mortal who’s afraid to face all my responsibilities of being in a relationship.
I’m sorry if I let other people easily enter our lives and tried to separate us.
I’m sorry for all the heartaches I caused to you.
I’m sorry if I can’t bring back the time when we were still truly, madly, deeply in love with each other.
I’m sorry if I easily give up on you.
I’m sorry if I wasn’t a good buddy.
I’m sorry if I’m always not around to be by your side, to let you cheer up whenever you have problems.
I’m sorry if I fail to give you a bouquet of your favorite flowers during Valentine’s Day.
I’m sorry if I care less sometimes about you.
I’m sorry if I let you feel that you’re not important to me.
I’m sorry if I fail to send a text messages to tell you that ‘I miss you and I love you’.
I’m sorry because I didn’t know that I’m giving you a hard time.
I’m sorry if I get you jealous.
I’m sorry if I was not the first and the only one you love.
I’m sorry because I let you suffer for what I’ve done.
I’m sorry if I make your life miserable.
I’m sorry if I can’t still move on.
I’m sorry if I can’t still forget about you but baby honestly I’m trying so hard but I just can’t.
Maybe not now.
I’m sorry if I am still in love with you.
I want to kiss you and hug you but I guess I don’t have any right anymore.
I’m sorry because I still want to see you.
I’m sorry if I still keep on disturbing your own life.
I am not saying this because I want to lessen the burden or guilt that is within me but I’m saying this because I hope,  and I am still hoping that maybe someday you will find in yourself to forgive me, at least if not to forget.
I know exactly what I did was wrong in your own point of view but baby I just did my part so that you will not sacrifice and hurt anymore.
It’s hard on my part that the one I love get hurt because of me.
This is also hard for me but I’m trying to be strong not to breakdown because of you.
We all knew that both our families are against our relationship in the first place.
We are not Romeo and Juliet to fight for our love till the end.
This is reality.
We have to wake up from this dream that only both of us exist.
When you cried in front of me because you were badly hurt about the situation-about us.
But baby believe me I was more hurt than you.
You beg not to give up but I did. Heaven knows how i want to be with you.
I know your parents want only the best for you and I guess they knew that I am not the best for you that’s why they have to do their part to keep us apart.
You have a nice future ahead and I’m sorry I can’t be part of it.
I want to find myself also alone. I want to be someone you will be proud of someday.
Maybe someday I will find the strength and courage now to fight for you and to tell you how much I love you and how badly I want to fight for you, too.
You are such a dearest to me and I’m thankful that I met you.
I never regret all the things that we have together.
I want you to know that I still love you and I will always love you till my last breath.
I promise, I’ll wait for you!

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